I thought of writing about this last week, when one of the working moms in my daughter’s school WhatsApp group wrote, “It irks me that other people automatically assume that you are a non-clued mother because you are working.” Also, all the women mommies on my group… I read most of the messages, though I contribute minimally.

Today the notion of a mother holding a job outside the home is so commonplace, so unremarkable that the word “working mother” seems redundant. The number of working mothers has been shooting up, still many of us believe that juggling work and family isn’t possible. Really, isn’t it?

Oftentimes, working women as a mother are not fully understood. Here is an attempt to address some of the “Popular Myths” around working women, who are also mothers:

1. Working mothers are not good parents

Many purported experts say, you cannot have a successful career and a great home life at the same time. The question to all those people is very simple, “How are they defining success?” For me, success is found in the fact that you can show up at work every day, do the assigned job, help run your household and raise your kids with your partner.  Maybe working mothers are not perfect parents (is there a thing like perfect parents?), but mostly they are great parents.

2. Working mothers have “problematic” children

If the mothers are working, it doesn’t mean their children are problematic. Kids are kids. Some are easy and some are difficult to handle.  Jumping to conclusion that kids are not easy to handle because they have working mothers is not reasonable. In fact, sending kids to daycare is a great opportunity for them to socialize, learn and have fun.

3. Working mothers let someone else raise their children

They are still the ones providing the love, the care, and the morning wake up calls.  They are doing the most of the heavy lifting with help from others like day cares. Yes, it is a team effort. As a popular saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child”.

4. Working mothers all live the good life

That is not true.  They don’t have everything they want and they don’t do whatever they want. No one has it all. When they decide to work, it is not without sacrifice and tons of guilt. Working mothers are faced with specific challenges, just like any other mom. By deciding to work, working mothers have taken the challenge to work and also have a family life.

5. Women work only for money

This is not completely true. There are many reasons we women who are also mothers work; for financial independence, for sanity (stay home with kids 24 by 7 and you will know what I am talking about), for finding our life purpose, for finding our place in society and mostly because we genuinely like working.

In the end I would end up quoting lines by Eleanor Roosevelt, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be criticized anyway. You will be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”