“The Confidence Gap”, a very interesting and informative paper written by two well-known journalists, ABC news reporter Claire Shipman and BBC world news reporter Katty Kay explains that women are great at everything but knowing how great they are at everything.
Variables: The gap in the Confidence Factor
I am a mother of a young intelligent boy who is standing on threshold of being a teenager. An age when nothing seems to be perfect.. The tee which you wear, the marks which you get, the long and short of the hair style, the new pimple on your nose…a very crucial age wherein all existing realities suddenly enter the domain of doubt and questions. An age where you are quite likely to be confused and perhaps low on confidence and primarily so because you suddenly have to deal with significantly expanded playing field of life experience than you would have encountered before.
Now change gears to be in a woman’s world. For years we get exposed to best education, thanks to our loving and progressive parents, we do wonderfully good and grow up as confident kids and this gender agnostic.
Then why is it that when it comes to work, many of us lose our confidence. Because suddenly we have to deal with significantly expanded playing field of life experience that we would have not encountered before. Till now it was our academics, our results… simple direct proportion. Now, there are multiple variables and we were not ready to juggle with the multiple variable.. Roles, mindsets, our own belief system built consciously and unconsciously over the years. We have till so far been certain that with enough hard work, our natural talents would be recognized and rewarded but now we know there are other variables. It’s tough to acknowledge and juggle with these variables.
What are the variables you are juggling with? Are you aware? Do you acknowledge them?
Build a strategy to tackle them.. It’s like being on the battlefront ☺
The Bad Stuff is easier to Believe
Another factor widening the confidence gap is multiple insecurities…physical insecurity.. I don’t look in this dress; I’ve put on too much weight; my hair is not good enough. And it does not end with physical insecurity.. My home doesn’t look nice..what would my guest think, what if my boss does not like the presentation I made, my colleagues would make fun of my outspokenness and the list goes on.
There’s a scene in the movie Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts tells the wealthy businessman played by Richard Gere that nobody ever plans to be a hooker, that she fell into this line of work because she didn’t think much of herself. Gere observes that she’s a special person with infinite potential and capabilities. And she replies, “The bad stuff is easier to believe.”
Just stand for who you are… who you really are. I am a 42 year young woman who is constantly reminded of her weight by all and sundry. Believe me, it’s very easy to get bogged down in a world which is so taken over by body image. But thank god for my thick cells… I do not allow people around me to enter my strongly guarded self – esteem.
There is Sight but no Vision
Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. Once we have the vision ..clear like the flowing icy crystal clear water, the confidence in you just shapes up. A vision can be used in two different ways: inspiration and prediction. A vision is the most powerful way to keep you focused on what you want in life while keeping you motivated in achieving it. And how can an inspired and motivated self with a clear vision not be confident!! This is your make/ break exercise. Invest in an expert help to create a powerful vision for yourself.
So wake up ! Get set to make a vision.. not in your mind… on paper. I just came back from a visioning retreat in Varanasi and am bubbling with energy and confidence. Yes, we need to constantly view and review our vision board.
Time for Action
You can begin with this confidence assessment quiz.. Its Free ….Go ahead and explore your confidence quotient.
http://theconfidencecode.com/confidence-quiz/
The Confidence Workout
- Fake it Till you make it – Feel the confidence. Pretend you are confident. And practice this every moment. You can challenge me if in few weeks you already don’t start feeling more confident.
- Mark your words – Your words are the moments of truth. Choose your words carefully. Use words which are positive exploring the infinite potential you have.
- Be cognizant of your blind spot – We all have our blind spots. Those aspects of us which are barriers to our full potential. Be aware of them and create a strategy to overcome them.
- Work with an expert to build the confidence factor – Invest in yourself. Hire a mentor or coach. The return on investment is very high.
- Just be Happy…A happy soul is a confident soul
