The Global Gender Gap Report, 2015, of the World Economic Forum indicates that it will take the world another 118 years, or until 2133, to close the economic gender gap fully.

Scary, isn’t it?

What is scarier, however, is that it might take the world even longer to achieve gender equality at home – equal distribution of domestic work, equal treatment of sons and daughters, freedom of choice for both men and women — and India could well take forever. According to the United Nations Development Program, India ranks 130th out of 155 countries in the Gender Inequality Index, behind neighbors Bangladesh and Pakistan. The inequality extends to all spheres — economic, political and social – and stands out glaringly when it comes to the domestic arena.

One might have thought the problem of gender inequality in the form of imbalanced division of household chores would not be acute in non-rural areas, but surveys indicate that working urban women do not fare much better than their rural counterparts. Grappling with unequal distribution of domestic chores has been cited as one of the biggest stress factors among urban working women, and the single largest contributor to marital discord. The greater participation of women in the workforce should have changed old stereotypes pertaining to household chores considerably. Sadly, the pace of change leaves much to be desired.

Consider some statistics thrown up by a recent Nielsen India survey (supported by Proctor & Gamble’s detergent brand, Ariel) conducted in Mumbai, Delhi, Chennai, Hyderabad and Bangalore:

• 76 per cent of Indian men, in this day and age, believe laundry is exclusively a woman’s job
• 68 per cent men prefer to watch TV over doing the laundry
• 67 per cent of women feel there is inequality of work distribution at home
• 85 per cent of working women say they have two jobs – one at work, and another at home
• 73 per cent of married Indian women feel men prefer to relax rather than help with household chores
• A whopping 87 per cent of working Indian women say while they are equal bread winners, they contribute more towards household chores than their husbands

Where is it going wrong?

The findings are disturbing, to say the least, and bring to the fore the stark imbalance that exists in the division of household chores. The grand plan of women empowering themselves by seeking economic independence, which, in turn, was supposed to deliver them from inequality, does not seem to be working as expected. Indeed, women are finding it easier to fight for equality in the workplace, than at home.

Multiple surveys and detailed conversations with women across cities and economic strata reveal that most of them feel seeking economic empowerment has added to their workload and stress, as they battle it out largely on their own when it comes to the unpaid domestic work. Says an exasperated Dr V Bindhu, principal, Vidya Vihar Central School, Thrissur, “Maybe, women should stay at home. They should not try to work outside the house, and inside as well. If they are expected to work, and also do all the housework, then things are not moving forward in the right direction.” The view is echoed by many women who articulate that adding the pressure of full-time paid work to the burden of unpaid work is acutely stressful. “The way out, though, is not for women not to work; it is for men to share in the housework in a meaningful way,” adds Dr Bindhu.

In the annual letter published in the official blog of Microsoft founder Bill Gates, GatesNotes, Melinda Gates says that globally, women average 4.5 hours daily doing unpaid work. Men spend less than half of that. “But the fact is that the burden of unpaid work falls heaviest on women in poor countries, where the hours are longer and the gap between women and men is wider. In India, to take one example, women spend about 6 hours, and men spend less than 1 hour,” she writes. At the end of her letter, Gates emphasizes the importance of sharing unpaid work at homes among men and women.

The findings of the US-based non-profit organization, International Centre for Research on Women (ICRW), are along similar lines. The organization conducted a three-year study to gauge societal attitudes towards gender equality in different parts of the world, titled International Men and Gender Equality Survey (IMAGES).  Its findings pertaining to India reflect the complex, and, at times, contradictory nature of many Indian men’s attitudes towards gender equality.

The study says: “In the case of India, initial findings show that Indian men were among the least supportive of equitable relationships and roles between men and women. Researchers applied the Gender-Equitable Men Scale for the results, which measures men’s attitudes about societal messages that dictate expected behavior for men and women. Among the findings, 80 per cent of men surveyed agreed that changing diapers, bathing and feeding children are a mother’s responsibility. And while nearly half of the men in all IMAGES countries said that they play an equal or greater part in one or more household duties, India was the exception: only 16 per cent of Indian men said that they had a role in domestic matters such as washing clothes, preparing food or cleaning the house.”

A report of the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) highlights that Indian men spend a mere 19 minutes per day on unpaid work, with women spending more than 10 times that on domestic chores.

So, has nothing changed?

We can safely take it for granted that there is an acute problem in domestic work distribution among working Indian men and women. Analysts point out that the issue has cultural overtones, as Indian society grants men privileges, and gives them a sense of entitlement. “Just see the way our society treats sons-in-law – with deference and undue respect. In many cases, daughters-in-law are glorified maids, and if they happen to be working women, well, they have to find the time to finish domestic work somehow,” says Thiruvananthapuram-based homemaker Deetha Narayan, who candidly admits that she gets no support at all for domestic work.

While social complexities colour attitudes towards domestic chores, many feel that things are on the up. Says Gurgaon-based Dipthi Ambardar Chaturvedi, Leadership Coach and Consultant, “There is a sea change in the lives of working urban women across the economic spectrum, with men stepping up to responsibilities their fathers would never have. Women need to keep pushing boundaries and be vocal about their needs, rather than wait for men to anticipate them. Men are evolving too, no doubt about it.”

Interestingly, women get their fair share of the blame for engendering stereotypes and coming in the way of ushering change. “Many women don’t fancy the thought of men sharing household chores. Then why blame men for being irresponsible on the domestic front,” queries Chennai-based HCL employee K. Nirmala. “Change should begin at the woman’s end first,” she adds.

Echoing the thought, observers point out that many Indian women contribute to the idea of male entitlement. “Educated, so-called evolved women, till date, would any day prefer to tell their daughters to help around the house, and not their sons. Women treat their sons-in-law like kings, and their daughters-in-law as workers. Nuclear families notwithstanding, the close familial relations in India ensure opinion control in households. How many women would not find it unnatural if they were to see their son cooking, while the daughter-in-law is engaged in some other pursuit? How many women will feel comfortable marrying a man who earns less than them,” asks Bangalore-based graphic designer Rahul Bose. “No one holds back a woman as much as another woman,” agrees Nirmala.

The way forward

So, what lies ahead?

In order to usher meaningful change, this generation of working parents will have to behave very differently from its parental generation. Dr Bindhu is optimistic that a change will come about in the next generation. “This is a transitional phase,” she says, adding, “This generation is growing up looking at both parents go to work. Our children will behave differently in the matter of domestic work distribution, and other aspects of gender equality.”

Parents need to bring up their sons and daughters in a manner that infuses the idea of equality in both. If sons are brought up to not feel privileged over daughters, and daughters are brought up to feel equal to sons, the next generation is much more likely to grow up with the spirit of equality ingrained in it. “Lasting change will happen when women teach both sons and daughters to take responsibility for household chores without gender stereotypes,” says Chaturvedi.

To go back to the Nielsen survey, while it showed up Indian society to be what it is, it did provide a glimmer of hope as well. According to its findings, 83 per cent of married Indian women want their sons to help with household chores at home when they grow up.

There might yet be hope for the next generation of Indian working women.

• Suneeta Kaul

References:

http://reports.weforum.org/global-gender-gap-report-2015/press-releases/

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Two-thirds-of-women-say-men-dont-help-with-household-chores-Study/articleshow/45816893.cms

http://www.icrw.org/media/news/gender-equality-indian-mens-attitudes-complex

https://www.gatesnotes.com/2016-Annual-Letter

http://www.livemint.com/Opinion/5ZfUJNoeRu6i408F13IZ0I/In-defence-of-the-traditional-Indian-male.html