Let me make it very clear at the onset, no murder is justified (unless it happens in self defense, even that could be debatable, so debate away). Hang her if she is found guilty of murder, for all I care.
I am not defending Indrani Mukherjea.
Because very simply, I cannot.
As I do not know her.
Thats my point! I do not know her. You do not know her. Media doesnt know her. While it filled a certain void in our comparatively boring lives for a week or so, and even provided for animated living room discussions over sniggers, the point remains: we are in no place to completely know or judge her story based on juicy tidbits media threw at us. Its not like she will be the first, the only or most cold blooded murderer our country has witnessed, if she is guilty. So what makes her different than the rest of them?
- She is a woman.
- An ambitious one at that (as if this alone wasnt enough!).
- She worked her way up in career and financial stature.
- Shes been married many times!
- She hasnt been most truthful of people.
- She was not an ideal mother as every woman is supposed to be.
Fine. Now, please tell me, can you think of a man having all the above characteristics (except first, of course)? Will that be as unthinkably horrendous? Will that make for such hilarious WhatsApp messages?
All I am saying is try her and convict her for crime(s) or trust the system to do it, but do not presume you are an authority on her life and character. You are not Indrani. You havent lived her life. You havent seen her cry in pain for her struggles. You werent even there to witness her life.
It is very tempting to enjoy falling-from-the-stars, rags-to-riches-to-dirt-again stories. It satiates a baser part of us in a vile manner. Then there are certain assumptions that immediately come into effect the moment we hear some such story. If she rose to such heights, she has to be promiscuous, for one. Maybe she was, maybe she wasnt. Is that really our business?
And then we love to paint black and white pictures. Since there seems to be evidence of her crime, so obviously she led a devious life from the moment she was born.
Oh, but she married so many times!
I asked a doting mother who seemed to loathe Indrani as if she knew her well, Do you think your daughter can be an Indrani?
Of course not! Came the shocked reply.
Yes, in all probability she will not be. Mostly because she is growing up in a nurturing environment where she feels safe. What are the odds Indrani had got that kind of an environment?
We dont know what she went through. We dont know her.
What if her marrying so many times was not a wicked scheme and she was actually not able to understand, create and nurture stable relationships? Even if she was trying to use relationships in unhealthy ways, dont you think she was losing out on something great in life too? Who doesnt want good relationships? Just saying.
Coming to the most important point, being ambitious, which is almost synonymous with being sinful for a woman in our country, even today unfortunately. I am not saying that there arent women who employ unfair/unethical means to rise up professionally or personally. There are men as well. Not defending or judging either gender, I have seen that the moment a woman exhibits any signs of ambition, many men line up to help her and help themselves in a pleasurable way. And if she is not cunning enough, she may have to pay the price.
A friend of mine (a talented, ambitious female) was telling how a boss of her propositioned her on an out-of-country trip. When she declined, he went ahead and made arrangements to book her return journey in business class along with him while rest of the team was to travel economy class. It took her a while and a lot of simpering from the team to understand what he had done. No matter what she would say then, the team was thoroughly convinced that she had slept with her boss.
We are already struggling with empowering women in our society and one Indrani incidenttakes us 10 steps back, with our preconceived notions adding fuel to fire.I cringe to think how this whole Indrani episode will be used effectively to rebuff many young, impressionable, vulnerable womens ambitions and scare them into unambitious, monotonous, dull lives.
Do you want to be an Indrani? will be the dreadful question to them.
No!
Then stop being so ambitious and focus on giving your lifes blood to all the relationships you are supposed to have. Prove that you are a good girl! Case closed.
Ambition is ambition. It is not vicious or immoral as it is. Means could be of various shades. Lets not reinforce the stereotype that every ambitious woman is mean. For that, the least we can do is not play high priestess on another womans life as we do not know her.
She may be evil incarnate, for all we know, but lets hold our horses and not pronounce verdict on how her life should have been and concentrate on what good we can do with our lives.
