By Payal Gandhi Hoon
One Sunday afternoon I drifted into my thoughts; it seemed like I was getting tired of doing things in a one stack way… though I delivered perfectly on what I’d set out to do, it felt like just going through the motions…and I thought about when was the last time I did something unplanned and truly joyful…
This vivid memory of one my cousin’s wedding last year in old Delhi last year popped up in my head. After all that making merry, it felt like sleepy silence. So here my family and I were waiting for a cab, all set to get home and hit the snooze button. But, there were no signs of the cab yet.
Waiting endlessly, I began to feel my back come up and gave into all possible signs of irritation. Thoughts began streaming through my head …Why aren’t these local cabs like the professional ones? When I do hire one from work, they are always on time. Why do we need to put up with this imperfection?
Just then I saw an old man carrying small vivid coloured plastic bottles in one hand and with the other was carrying wired extension rounded at one end; through which he blew out transparent, light, afloat, dreamy, free, dancing air bubbles. What a wondrous moment I thought to myself, while I looked at the rainbow colours silking in the bubbles.
Soon there was a stream of bubbles following the man just like piped the piper of bubbles…and something in me urged to experience the thrill of just doing!! I bought the bottle for Rs. 10! And once I opened it; we all shared a happy moment of being mesmerised by the floating bubbles in the air.
Whilst all this, I was being watched, by two pairs of eyes and half a smile. Instinctively, I gave the magic bottle to those innocent street children…and saw the magic unfurl as those tiny hands began to play…
Even while I write this, I feel joy in my heart – a joy that even a 100 times the cost of the bottle couldn’t have fetched me. And here was the joy of just being in the moment and making the most of it, being natural and not succumbing to the mundane. It sure generic zithromax azithromycin spared me the reeling internal dialogue which would continue to lament about the cab delay, how heavy the eye lids were getting to be and the body ache just how far our house was…
We are what we think and do…As women and especially in the Indian context (not to be generalised) with an unsaid onus of managing behind the scenes functioning of the family system- we consciously or subconsciously run patterns in our thoughts to be the perfect – mother, wife, daughter, daughter in law, hostess, employee…And so we do things which are perfect.
First things first, what’s the ‘to be perfect syndrome.’
-When you want to get all things right in the first shot
-When you fear failure
-When you want to live up to everyone’s expectations of you
-When you want to be present at all times, everywhere and play the agony aunt
-When you can’t stand others being less than perfect!!
God forbid! If someone falls short of your expectations, one can only imagine the repercussions. However if you are anything less than perfect – the impact is evident – Stress, bouts of crying, sulking, being snappy, people don’t understand me syndrome, frustration, low energy, low motivation, break down…
It all begins with a thought – to be perfect. We become a conformist and complain that life is mundane. Yet we want life to be exciting and us to be fresh. To be perfect is to be rehearsed and not the natural you. If we change our thoughts, we can change our actions and thus we can change our results in our lives.
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is an approach of reflecting and working thought, behaviour and language patterns that might be sabotaging us and working on enhancing patterns that might be working for us. NLP is an intervention that can help reengineer your patterns when you find yourself, running in spirals of being perfect and not being who we truly are…
Here is a little ‘heart work’ for you –
When was the last time when you were perfect?
What was that like?
What did you feel?
Reflect on when was the last time you were you?
What was that like?
What did you feel?
Payal Gandhi Hoon is a NLP specialist and runs open public NLP workshops in NCR. You can visit her website www.tamarainlp.com for further queries.
