Everything I have done or am striving for stems from a very strong inculcation from my parents that whatever you do, do your best.When you put in your best, things fall into place. So at every cross juncture, I kept in mind that I have two choices: either to go on or to quit. As I evaluated the choices, I realized that choosing to not pursue career would have leave me unfulfilled. I also had the confidence that there’s nothing impossible. If you think strategically, you’ll be able to sort out anything.

Thinking Strategically

The first big challenge was after my first child was born. I was feeling very low because I didn’t want to go back to work leaving her. I evaluated my two choices. Also, most of my women mentors kept telling me that the struggle-time is a very short period of time, if you look at the bigger picture. The kids will outgrow your need to be around them 24X7 in 5-6 years. I decided I can battle it out through 5 years and that will help me get another 30 years. So I call it strategic. It’s a 5 year investment into my career. That perspective helped me.

Mentors

I always managed to have a set of people who are helping me, guiding me, specifically some senior leaders within my organization. With P&G I was lucky to have women leaders’ network that used to help and support each other. Then there were some working women in my relatives and my social circle. Whenever I am in that self questioning phase, I look up to them and seek answers. Also some senior male leaders have been a big influence on me. Their perspective was that the diversity which the women bring in the business or elsewhere has better impact.

The Family

I’ve been blessed with a very supportive husband. My mother-in-law has always been encouraging whenever I was in doubt. My parents guided me to pursue my interests and inspired me to focus on academics while I was growing.

My Share of Low Points

The lowest low point was for last about 8 years when my husband and I were kind of doing a split family. Four of those years were in Singapore where he would spend two weeks in Singapore and two weeks in India. And the worst patch was Boston where he would spend 3 weeks in Boston and 3 weeks in India. Now I can write a book on how to have a successful relationship with a split family.

To give you a clue into the ‘downs’ I faced, for example, when it was the third weekend after having worked really hard throughout last three weeks and the kid is sick and everybody I see is enjoying with their families here I am sitting all alone in Boston in minus 20 degree trying to keep a bold face for children. Because if you are sad then your children will be sadder. Camouflaging what one is feeling is tough. When you are in the office you have to be at the top and beaming with energy and inspiration. And when you are at home, you can’t let yourself down either.

What Kept Me Going

The ‘Best’ philosophy. When I have taken the responsibility to be leading a team or whatever then I have to be doing that at my best. That requires that when I come to it I put in 100% energy. And I feel, if I am spending these 8 hours away from my family, it better be worth it.  I am taking this time away from myself, from my children, from my husband, from my parents etc., so I need to get maximum out of it. That pushes me more so those 8 hours have to be really power packed. When you put in your best, the best comes out. I really value time a lot because that’s a big investment from my point of view. And likewise at home I feel that I have these two hours with my children, I have to get a high ROI on that one. I put in the best in those two hours with my children. Because those are the only two hours they get from me.

That Work-Life Balance

When I went to US, I had to do a lot of other stuff as well as much help wasn’t available. So I decided that I am going to spend some time for myself as it was not sustainable otherwise. I figured out what will make me feel that I am having a good work-life balance. I wrote it down. Not working on weekends, not working after 6, spending at least 2 hours with my children, taking off on all big occasions like birthdays and anniversaries and other important days, having at least two big vacations, two or three small vacations with the family etc.

I also decided things like at least 3 hours of myself on exercise, 2 hours where I can pamper myself like massage or something. So once I had that clarity and I felt good about it, I went ahead and implemented it. I would have a conversation with myself and then whoever is needed to get it right. I have realized over a period of time is it’s all up to you. All the barriers are your own barriers. You have to declare that to your people, to your manager etc.

Bringing Them To Your Side

I shared my plan at work and with by superiors. A lot of people told me that it is very inspirational.

Male superiors were more than happy and they would showcase my case and said,”This is how we want you to talk!” The more I talk about it very openly the more respect I would get when I’ll walk out of office at 5:30. Even over here I told my boss that my working hours are going to be from 8:00 to 5:30 to begin with and then I am going start moving at 4:30 because the traffic here is really crazy. I want to spend 2-3 hours with my children after that. If needed, I am going to logon at 10 and work for another hour depending on the need. For them it’s not a big deal, really. It’s all in our mind. We feel hesitant to talk about it. But I think if you declare your terms very clearly and if people get a sense that you are authentic and not trying to get off the hook, it is really not difficult.

Initially for the first 6-7 years, I didn’t have that voice. I found my voice after that. It helps my productivity actually because I focus on things better. Initially there was hesitation: can I, can I not? Then you slowly start testing the waters. What’s the point of sitting in the office cribbing that it’s my child’s birthday today. I might as well take the day off.  Then I started seeing success.

Declare and then stick to it. I see people appreciating you having a life outside of work. For example, I wanted to teach my daughter dancing. We made it into an event by inviting five more girls every Thursday. It soon became parents’ potluck too. We started performing in various organizations and Indian festivities in US and raised charity for an orphanage in India. This doubled up as my bit for my and society as well as a release for me and a chance to get connected with Indians over there. When I talked about this at my office, they would find it very inspirational.

Most women like I back in the day don’t know it can be done. There weren’t too many role models who were doing it. Now we are seeing them. It’s also about seeing it around you and the knowledge it can be done.

I make my time table. My holidays are declared. I am very transparent about it. I give my organization three months visibility. So they know. It’s not a surprise to anybody. There are some decisions they take beforehand. So I say you are your biggest enemy. If you break that enemy mindset, the world aligns to you.

And Then There’s Travel

I have had lots of it. That’s where the stress came in. Another part of work life balance is that I had decided that I’ll never leave my children alone without one parent. So the moment my husband generic zithromax online cheap would come I would plan my travel. There were times when there were very important meetings etc. for which I had to go and I declined because of this reason but then I would connect on phone or find a way to deal with it. And there were times when I was slightly disadvantaged because of that.

Learning To Let Some Things Go

 It was very difficult in the beginning. I remember the first time it happened. There was something happening in Vietnam that I had to go to, something like global heads coming and I had a very important presentation. It was very important from my career perspective. And that very day my daughter fell sick. My husband was not there. The principle is very clear – not to leave the place when the children are not well. It was at a place where the connectivity was not very good, so I could not even join on phone. I was really feeling very bad about it that it was a golden opportunity and I could capitalize on it. But again it is about what’s more important for me. Sick child is more important than anything else.

Remember The Priorities

It is important to keep your priorities right. It is also very important to remember priorities that when you are confronted with the moment of decision.

Take Complete Responsibility

Finding others a reason for not doing something is the lamest excuse. If I am not able to do it it’s not because of anyone else, it’s because of me. Or I haven’t found out the way. The answer is always within me. The other important thing is holding responsibility for the choices you make. There will be times when things will just not work and you will ask yourself, almost in tears – why am I doing this? Ask yourself – whose choice was it? It was my choice and this choice was better than any other choice of the choices I had at that time. Is it still the best choice that I had? If the answer is yes then you better shut up. Stop cribbing and deal with it.

For example, another big turning point was coming back to India. I thought I have done 3 years and was that still the best choice and the answer was no. Then I changed the choice. I came back to India.

Coming back to India, there are times when I feel what a wrong choice I have made. Traffic, for example. Then I remind myself the reasons why I took this step. I am here for couple of years to let my husband establish what he wants to do. Whatever comes with it, move with it.

Raising Children

The theory I subscribe to is –  “Outsource everything that does not add value”. Put a system to the madness. It really helps me to simplify things and ensure that my time is spent really well.

Grocery shopping, cooking, leaving kids to various classes, drop and pick up etc. I made a list of all such things. Thought about solution. I hired a nanny. Nanny time was non-value- add, so enrolled the kids in various classes. The nanny’s job was of a chauffeur. I invested in the kids’ learning during the time I was not with them. It was a good ecosystem for everybody. I hired other people for cleaning, cooking etc., put in place an enabling system.

The kids were used to my travelling etc. right from the beginning. I wish there were lot more emotions while I went on travel. They knew and understood. Other thing I also do is work-from-home-a-day, typically Wednesdays, one day a week.

The Finer Details Of Work-Life Balance

Planning is very key for working people. The details of it are very important. When we and my husband were having split family, we had a running excel file for a lot of stuff in our lives.

E.g. I had an excel file which is called dresses I would update that for birthday parties, these are the dresses our daughter wore. If I am not there and my husband needs to send the daughter to birthday party, the dress is not repeated.

I have created a system for travel. There’s one sheet – things to pack. Things that take away your thinking time, take them off your mind once and for all. Checklist of all things you need like power battery, VPN connection, mobile charger… it saves unnecessary time and stress. It’s better to invest your energies in something creative than mundane.

I also have a list of breakfast, lunch, dinner like a menu. I have list of 30-40 different options there. I open that up, I don’t have to think about what should I make for dinner etc. I outsource it to the maid too so doesn’t have to ask me everyday what to cook.

Put Technology To Its Best Use

We’ve been using technology for lot of things. It’s all about detailed planning. Even small stuff like play dates. And then systemize everything like we have a file that has lot of our personal details. So when every new nanny/worker comes, instead of recreating everything, we hand it out to them, all phone numbers, contact details, emergency contacts are there. It’s one time effort.

If I am travelling, I’ll make sure I have 1-1.5 hours on Skype with them whichever part of the world I am travelling to. I’ll match my timing to their timing. Even my husband does the same. My husband, Sidharth would even teach them on Skype. For talking to them, reading to them using technology to its best is very helpful.

I remember once my children were travelling to India with Sidhrath and they were on Heathrow airport. Sidharth called me up at 3 in the morning and asked me to babysit the kids on Skype as he had to go sort out a flight issue.

Vision Forward

I definitely want to be CEO of a company. That’s my personal goal. This switch to Shell may help in that as I am getting more expertise in specialization. Creating impact is what drives me- on people, organization and business. When I left P&G after 16 years, I could count at least 100 people whom I had directly impacted. I helped them with life changing decisions for them, how they groomed themselves, how they have changed as individuals or the positions they have reached.

Mentoring Gives Me My Personal Motivation

In P&G, I was mentoring 50-55 people on a regular basis at the last count. And even now everyday there are like 10 people from various places talking to me about all kind of stuff. After I have left, the barrage has opened up more. It’s about building that trust. Making any difference in their lives really motivates me.

Making A Difference

Secondly, in business when you see your work in the market, that feels good. In P&G, their philosophy was also improving lives of people, so if I was working on sanitary napkins, it gave me great privilege and great honour that now in India, for example, one million more girls this year will be free and they will be going to school during those 5 days or doing all what they dreamt of doing. That motivates me to aim higher.

I connect with the purpose behind the brands like Gillette. When you see your work, like the packaging recommendation you made and now that is in market, it gives you a sense of achievement. There are fulfilling things like creating systems and processes which are more lasting than your own life. It is good to be inside-driven but how do we get next 10 years thinking? How to do this exercise not to produce just one nice document left somewhere. In P&G, I brought it into key decision making, at the time of strategy building, at the time of initiative taking. It is part of the system now.

Other areas were organization redesign work and competence building. It’s not about competence required today, but about to be required in the next 5 years. These things will stay for some years leaving the impact.

My Role Models

A General Manager in P&G Nayantara Balaji from Singapore, an Indian, that’s why I could relate to her more.  She has done exceptionally well.  I learnt a lot of things from her. Our president for Asia Deb Hendretta, she talked a lot about her work-life principles. She gave one principle which I also like a lot and that is: “Don’t take work life balance on a daily basis”. Take it on a longer period of time. So there will be days when it goes out of balance but then make yourself comfortable with the fact that you are compensating for it on another day. Specifically when you are travelling or having long nights, quickly compensate with taking a day off. I learnt different things from observing different people.